Some days can be a wee bit boring when you live in paradise, I mean every day is a rubber stamp of the day before…lots of sunshine, temperatures in the eighties, and a cool sea breeze. It’s like being in a perpetual rut…well, until hurricane season arrives that is, then it’s a whole other story.
I had just made a fresh pot of coffee and was heading to my office with a cup of the dark brew in my hand. While I sat waiting for those pesky little electrons in my computer to do their thing and get everything up and running, I was sipping my coffee and staring aimlessly out the window at nothing in particular.
We lived in a quiet neighborhood on a dead end street, so as you probably have already guessed, there is not a heck of a lot of excitement in our little part of paradise. If you don’t mind being bored out of your ever-loving mind, I guess one might consider that a good thing. Me on the other hand, I enjoyed a bit of excitement from time to time.
Just as I was recovering from yet another yawn, I saw a white vehicle speeding down our street. Now normally I would not consider that very unusual, however in this case the white vehicle appeared to be a police cruiser. I jumped up and ran to the window, not totally sure if what I saw was real or if my bored mind was playing tricks on me. Hey, I told you nothing exciting ever happens in our neighborhood so if this was indeed real, it was a big deal.
I had my cheek pressed up tight against the windowpane, straining to look down the street in an attempt to determine if what I saw was real or just a mirage. I guess secretly I was hoping for something exciting that would break the monotony of life in paradise, but at the same time, hoping nothing bad had happened to any of our neighbors.
About the time I was beginning to think my mind had conjured up the police cruiser, up the street came one of the City’s finest in his white chariot. I could not remember ever seeing a police cruiser on our street and the biggest crime that had ever occurred involved a rogue river otter stealing shrimp from our neighbors bait bucket. Therefore, I had to assume the officer had just made a wrong turn. Well, at least it would give me something different to tell my wife Ann when we sat down to dinner.
Just as I was ready to turn around and get back to work, I saw the police cruiser stop in front of our neighbor’s house. Wow, I could not believe I was about to witness something way, way, out of the ordinary, a true “happening”. I grabbed my camera and headed out the front door. As I crossed the lawn, I noticed our neighbors were already talking to the police officer. They did not look upset, so I guessed whatever happened could not have been too bad.
When I walked up to Jake, my neighbor, he turned and gave me a “Hey”. I asked what was going on to which he replied, “He was hanging around our back door so we called the police.”
“Ooookay, who was hanging around your back door?”
“Him” and he pointed in the direction of the police officer. Suddenly I knew it was going to happen again, I had been down this road many times before with Jake and I swear he does it on purpose. Once again, I could sense a fog bank moving into my brain and that feeling of total confusion beginning to rear its ugly head.
“So you’re telling me the police officer was hanging around your back door and you called the police on him?”
“No, gees, that would be dumb, no not the police officer, him.”
As I looked around I saw Jake, his mom, and the police officer and I was reminded of the Abbott and Costello routine “Who’s on first?” Once again, I tried to clear up the confusion by asking “Ooookay, one more time, who was hanging around your back door?”
Jake gave me a look as if I had just grown another head and once again, he pointed in the direction of the police officer and said “HIM”. This time I was trying to be very careful to look exactly where Jake was pointing. Once again, it appeared as though he was pointing directly at the police officer only this time I noticed the officer had one end of a long piece of wash line wrapped tightly around his hand. The other end of that line was tied securely around the neck of a rather large dog that appeared to be smiling at me.
All at once, I burst out laughing, it was just like watching a television comedy routine, and I just could not help myself.
“Wait, wait, are you telling me you called the police on a dog that was hanging around your back door?”
“Yeah, he’s a big dog and a Pit Bull too.”
“So you called the police on a big Pit Bull that was hanging around your back door and they actually sent a police officer out to investigate?”
“Unbelievable. Did the officer arrest the dog?”
“Aaaaa, yeah, er a, I mean no, I don’t know, the cop said he was going to take the dog with him when he leaves, after he writes up his report.”
“So he arrested the dog?”
“No, do you see any handcuffs on the dog?”
“No, but if he’s hauling the dog off to the pokey, he must have arrested him and I don’t think police carry doggy handcuffs around with them. What did he charge the dog with, panhandling, loitering, oh, oh, wait I got it, public urination.”
“No, Mr. Smart Mouth, he didn’t charge the dog with anything, he’s just going to take him away. You’re just trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill…and it’s not funny, stop laughing.”
“I can’t believe you guys actually called the police on a smiling dog that was innocently hanging around your back door. I guess this means I need to start using your front door when I come over and not risk going anywhere near that back door.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Besides, I have to help the cop coax the dog into the back of his cruiser.”
I continued watching as the police officer and my neighbors tried desperately to coax Smiley, the Pit Bull into the back of the police cruiser. I guess Smiley was indeed a Pit Bull, since no one wanted to take a chance on giving him a physical boost into the back seat.
After considerable pleading and lots of enticement, I guess Smiley finally decided the back seat looked a heck of a lot cooler and way more comfortable than standing in the hot sun on a hard roadway and so he hopped up on the soft, cool back seat.
Now it may have been my imagination, but once Smiley was in the police cruiser and the door had slammed shut, he looked out the window in my direction, stopped smiling and stuck his tongue out at me. To add insult to injury, he then raised his head high in the air toward the open part of the window and made a noise that I swear sounded very much like he was giving me a raspberry. Knowing Jake as I do, it would not surprise me in the slightest to find out he taught Smiley that little maneuver.
The days crime spree had come to an end with the arrest of a four footed felon in our neighbors yard. In no time at all our little piece of paradise returned to normal…beautiful but still boring. The only real change that had occurred was instead of editing wildflower images I was now sitting in front of my computer editing images of the daring capture of a wanted felon…Smiley the Pit Bull.
Another great adventure comes to an end. It doesn’t get any better than this…well, unless you’re talking about waking up to a day filled with exciting things to do because it’s your birthday. That might just be a step up from this story.
I guess as we travel the road of life, we can never be really sure which way the road will turn…one thing’s for certain though, if a police cruiser stops at your neighbor’s house, pull the shade down and don’t go over to find out what’s happened.
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